Tee. Gee. Eye. Eff.

Well, my first work week as a vegetarian has come to a close. I wonder if Hallmark makes a card for that?

Things I've learned after 5 days of vegetarianism:

• Plan ahead, or you'll end up eating a mango, PopTart, and string-cheese breakfast. Three days in a row.
  

• There is such a thing as too many carrots in one sitting.

• Caffeine is your friend. Your best friend. If you were in 4th grade together, you'd make Caffeine a bracelet from your mom's cross-stitch thread.

I've been kind of digging it, though--I wouldn't necessarily say I feel "better". I mean, I am tired all. the. time. But that could be a by-product of my lethargic lifestyle, so I hate to blame my current lack of meat product.

I am still training myself. In my head, I'm constantly reminding myself that I don't eat meat. I don't eat meat. I don't eat meat. I may look normal, and may carry on normal conversations (well, as normal as any conversation with me can ever be), but in my head, I'm probably saying, "I don't eat meat." I'm really afraid that I'll forget, and take a big ol' bite of someone's chicken sandwich, or blindly drive myself to McDonald's or something.

In unrelated news, I had a dream that my roommate bought a HUGE kitchen table. It was lovely, but I was baffled as to why he bought it. And now, I'm baffled as to why I'm dreaming about tables.

The Editor and I have plans to hang out tomorrow night. I'm thinking dinner at The Waterfront somewhere, followed by some quality time at Barnes and Noble...yeeeesh. You know you're a nerd (dating a nerd) when Barnes and Noble is a totally viable date destination.

I did hear from The Aviator this week, but frankly, not enough to justify me carving out time in my schedule this weekend. I'm totally booked for Sunday, Saturday belongs to The Editor, and tonight is a long-overdue hangout with a college pal. So, whatever.

I have a few qualifications when it comes to who I will be contacting via eHarmony. I will not contact men whose profile pictures feature any of the following:

Their car
A dead animal
A gun
Their shirtless torso

You wouldn't believe how many of the matches I land fall into these categories.

Dear Men Of The World:
Free advice! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR NIPPLES BEFORE THE FIRST DATE.
Love, Moi

The kicker is, apparently, I have 28 levels of compatibility with these dingdongs. This shocks and saddens me, and kind of makes me wonder if this contributes to why I suspect I'll actually die alone in a trailer full of cats.